Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
