She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
