I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
