did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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