I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
