Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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