Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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