I forgot how hot balto sounded
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
