i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
