well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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