I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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