Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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