I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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