That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
