I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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