I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i believe in u and ur pee
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
