I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
