I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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