So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
