break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
