every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
