ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
