can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize