I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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