we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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