i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
