her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
