Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
