we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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