summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
