This girl is more easily done than said...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize