How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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