where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize