OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
