You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
