I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
