What did we do last night that was yellow?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
