She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
