If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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