i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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