I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize