i would punch a child for taco bell
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
