she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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