There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
