Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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