I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
