you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
its liver damage thursday
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