i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think my vagina is haunted
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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