Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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