whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
