Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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