you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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