if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
