my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
What drink are we having for lunch?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Randomize
