I have demons in me.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
