I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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