At least make sure they are 18
Why
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
