The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
