a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
